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The Less I Care, the Better...





I find that the older I get, the less I care about stuff. I saw this phenomenon in when I was younger and thought, "How could they not care about stuff? There's sooo much stuff to care about!" That's because young people are stupid. And that's fine. It's the prerogative of the young to be stupid. It cain't be hepped." But Woefully, you raw bastion of intelligence and class," I hear you beckon. "This would mean that you yourself... were stupid!" How very astute of you! The sad fact of the matter is that I still am. Just in different ways. Everybody is. From the dumbest of the dumb to whoever we consider smart today. Just in different ways. Everybody's got something. Anyway, what was I going on about...? Young people! God, I hate 'em. For no discernable reason, too. They're there like, "Duuurrr... My joints don't hurt..." Get the fuck out of here. Ever hear that saying that youth is wasted on the young? I remember my mom saying it when I was little, but I had no idea what it meant. Oh-ho-hoooo boy do I now. The young trapse around with energy and relative indestructibility, but without the benefits of aged wisdom, and we olds have the wisdom, but not the energy and unexplained pains, and increasingly emergent bathroom visits.


No, that wasn't it... Not exactly. Ah! The more age you have, the less of a shit you have to give. I watched my dad piss in a crowded parking lot. My mom would just flat out ask about someone's ethnicity because they vaguely resembled an ethnic group she favored. When things liked this happened, I'd be embarrassed. But at the same time, envious. How do you get to be that free and uninhibited? Age. I've pissed many places polite society would prefer that I didn't. I dress up as a Japanese cartoon character and go to conventions. "Aren't you a little old to..." To what? Have a good time? Get fucked. I feel the shackles of societal expectation slip more and more all the time. One of the things I like to do is when a coworker comes to me with a problem like, "The thing's not doing the stuff." I look at them blankly and say, "I'm sorry." It's a hoot. You should try it.


I know I'm not treading new ground here. Old peoples' shit givers have been as operational as the McDonald's ice cream machine for... ever, really. I dunno. I just had a free flow of mental diarrhea and decided release it here. Have fun wiping that out of your eyes. Eeewww... PINK MIND'S EYE!


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