Before my dad passed, I heard some stories. Some he told me and some my sister told me. Some I remember living through. My dad was a lot of things. One of those things was an excellent racecar driver. He regalled me of a tale that he spun out a well sponsored driver during a raceand went on to win said race. And that after the race, the benefactors of the driver my dad had done spunt (yeah, spunt ain't a word, but it does ring Shakespearean, dunnit?) came to my dad's car in the pits. They said they were looking for the driver and my dad made with the shoulders and said he didn't know where the driver was. He told me that he thought they were there to fight. I asked if the other driver was in tow. No. All of my flabbers were gasted. They weren't there to fight! They might've been recruiting! I didn't understand. I didn't get the underlying reason for such unreasonability.
My sister told me a similar story my dad told her involving motorcycle racing. Another thing my dad was was and excellent motorcycle racer. I don't remember the story exactly, but I believe my sister asked why he didn't persue racing professionally. My dad said he had too many beer joints to go to. This sounds terrible, like beer was life, but I think he was saying something else.
He told me stories about my grandpa. My Grandpa was an excellent racer as well! I asked why my grandpa didn't want to be credited for winning a race when he drove for someone else. My dad told me grandpa wasn't a fan of the limelight, but had a successful bodyshop with radio ads. So he had to like the limelight a little bit.
So one day I'm sitting. Not stewing. Steeping, I suppose. Like a teabag. And I came to the realization that I'm the same way. I'll turn down opportunities because I'm afraid of effort?
That's not quite right. That if I seek these opportunities, then I have to do it. Whatever it is. Then it becomes a thing. It becomes another job. And when what you enjoy becomes a job, you're not doing it because you love it, your doing it because you have to. Now you're obligated. Maybe even contracted. And that takes the thing out of your terms. My dad, grandpa, and I do like noteriety. Just on our terms and only as much as we decide we want. When my dad said he he had too many beer joints to go to, I think he really was saying if he went that route, his control over living life how he wanted to would be taken away a bit. That the racing he loved would become just another thing he had to do.
A lot of us live under the idea that we have to persue everything. Everything we enjoy has to make us money, too. Simple enjoyment isn't enough. Some people find great success in monetizing their hobbies, but not everyone has to do that.
I know this isn't very funny. But at least it isn't morose. Just wanted to share a bit of an awakening I had some time back. And maybe explain why I didn't and don't do some things.
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