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Saint Granny. Patroned Saint of Universal Love, and the Switcheroo Compliment...




Have you ever met a person so dynamic, so powerful, but yet so kind and giving that they seem literally impossible? This was my grandmother. My dad's mom. This woman was really something. She grew up with nothing. Despite this, she always put a silver lining on everything even the most difficult of circumstances. And she had a tough time. Not a terrible one, mind you, but tough.


So patient, caring, and forgiving, this woman. I believe it was Christmas time. I was 10 or 11, I think? Anyway, I thought it was a grand idea to huck rocks from the back yard, over the house, to the front yard. Brilliant, right? A couple of cousins followed suit because, you know, kids are stupid. We were having a blast up until one of my lobs was more of a bullet pass and shot through the kitchen window into the scalloped potatoes, I think it was. I figure everyone figured I did it. I didn't exactly have a master poker face. But I tried to hide it. Because, you know why. So the investigative team of my older cousins started checking the heart rates of the younger cousins. How Batman and Robin of them. They got to me and, well, I wasn't super spy material. Of course my heart was beating like Neil Peart. There's a reference for the kids! I was found out. I was asked by mom and dad about it and I begrudgingly came clean. They told me to go apologize to my grandma and to give back my Christmas money to help pay for the window. I went to her room and asked if I could come in. She sweetly replied. If I had hat, it would have been in my hands. I felt so ashamed. All she had ever done and here I had destroyed her property and tried to cover it up. By doing something senseless and stupid, no less. I copped to it and she said she kinda figured as much, for me to keep my money, and that everything was alright. No yelling. No spanking. Not even a cross word or coarse tone, for that matter. Just love and forgiveness. Even for a stupid little ass like me. She ought to be canonized to sainthood, that one.


And this is just one story. So many other people have so many others. I do, too. I just wanted to share this one. My God, this Woman! So kind, so sweet. But she was also the master of the backhanded compliment. You know, that "mean girls" type double speak? Like, "oh, what a cute blouse! I'm glad they make it in your size." That kind of thing. She did it to all of us. But even at that, I don't think she was being malicious or purposefully shitting on anyone to ruin their day. It was more of a reality check. Telling us to watch our weight, to be careful how we spend our money, or to be careful of the endeavors we chose. That no matter what she said or how jarring it was to hear, that it came from a place of her wanting nothing but the absolute best for whomever she said it to.


In fact, it wasn't until I was in my 30's that I found out that when a southern woman says, "well bless your heart," that it's their way of low-key calling you a retard. And looking back, I was a grievously stupid kid. But she loved me, as she loved us all (and everyone, really) without condition.


Image credit: https://goodnight-lullaby.blogspot.com/2020/12/holy-glow-png-discover-and-download.html?m=1

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