Disclaimer: What anyone has to understand about what I write in general is that it is part of a map of my own personal journey. These are the things I have experienced, how I understand what I have experienced, and what I have decided to do with all of it. Maybe someone may see my perspective and get something from it. Maybe a little tweakage of their own world view. But by no means is any of this a direct reflection to how anyone else thinks or is supposed to think. Any correlative effect or same mindedness is purely coincidental. So, sure, you can disagree with me. That's fine. Just do so on an objective level and not, "ThAt'S nOt Me! tHaT's NoT wHaT i ThInK!" There is no bibliography. Just the dry beans rattling around this coffee can I call my head.
I'm spending a long time growing up. "But, Purveyor of WoefullyYours.com! (I haven't really worked up a proper nickname for myself during the strawman statements or at all. I'll work on it. Promise.) You are the age you are! Have you not finished growing up!?!?" To which I retort quite pithily indeed, "No." (Huh. Not as much pith as advertised... Moving along...) No, I don't believe anyone ever truly finishes "growing up." I believe that "growing up" is about 70% a myth. Say what! Yeah. There is a large degree of growing up and what it is and isn't that we humanfolk give our sentience way too much credit for. Over my time, I have been asked questions. Questions such as:
Don't you think it's time to stop [insert enjoyable activity here]?
Don't you think it's weird that you still [insert enjoyable activity here] at your age?
Aren't you a little old to be wearing that?
When are you going to grow up and get a real hobby instead of [insert enjoyable activity here]?
Upsets me just writing it out. I suppose the overarching answer to any question like this is, "Aren't you a smidge too old to not know how to mind your own damned business and let people enjoy stuff?" But why ask any of it? Why do we as a society feel hell bent on making sure others meet all the metrics of "growing up?" Why is it anybody else's business but our own individual selves'?
There is a natural component of "growing" out of something where you just simply lose interest. Take me and video games. I still play once in a while, but not nearly like I used to. It's been said, "Oh, you're growing out of it." I suppose, in a sense, yes. Buuut also no. I, for my own reasons (bastard kids online like, "Oh, I'm 14 or 33 and spend every available moment on this game so now I'm massively overpowered even though this game came onto market 12.2 hours ago. You putting that on your job application? Eat a shit. And an overall sameness to most games, along with these gaming companies getting too full of themselves to think they can push out broken shit onto the market and people will just buy it, which they do, and the dev can just patch it later? The utter BALLS! But we keep buying the shit, so they keep selling the shit. So I should play more Indie titles. Those can be a crapshoot. Plus I don't have the energy to care about the string guys, the desert wandering woman, or Peggle. Wait. EA owns that. But they didn't used to! And if one of these companies tries to do a little right by the customers and give the devs a bit more time to polish things up, the customers go off their collective nut and start shitting death threats all over everybody! And then if the games is rushed and patched later... DEATH THREATS! WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN DOING ANYMORE!?!? I'm just a bit over the whole God forsaken thing.), and video games have just grown apart. With benefits. I like that phrase better. It carries the connotation that, hey, I went this way and you went that way. But we can still Smash. Brothers. Super Smash Bros. Sometimes. wink. And it's totally natural. You love something and you get tired of it, find something else to love and move on to that maybe forgetting the first thing or maybe not. Does it come with age? Sometimes. Hence why people mistake it for "growing up." It's not "growing up!" It's really just boredom over time! "Oh, look at how adult I am. I'm bored with a thing!" Give me a break. "You should drop your interest in whatever because various people at your age have dropped their interest." I'm not done with whatever yet. Mind ya (I was gonna say "biscuits", but that country lady made a stupid song with that saying, so now I hate it. Guess I "grew up". pssh) business.
Then there is a societal/environmental component where you may or may not lose interest in whatever, but because friends, family, or marketing are telling you that you should not hold interest in whatever it is you're interested in. The phrase "grow up" a lot of the time has this adult machismo to it. Like, "I don't do _________ anymore. I'm grown up." "I don't watch __________ anymore. It's not grown up enough for me." Which I always found to be crazily superficial and boastful. And a lot of us have been taught to be that way. It's natural to lose interest in shit. Why is anybody bragging about it? Or you've had a thing you loved that wasn't hurting anybody ripped away from you before you were willing to let it go. Now you're peacocking about the formative instances of early onset dying inside? It's okay to like a show or collect a thing that's seemingly below your age demographic. I saw a bunch guys, I guess 16,17,18 year olds, at Walmart a while back. They were walking past the toy aisle and one of them went down the aisle to look at a wrestling figure. One of his 'friends' called him a child. For liking a thing? It took everything in me not to tell that guy to get fuct and to tell the first guy it's okay to like stuff. Wouldn't have been a good look, doh. Wouldn't wanna be thought of as "creepy".
And the whole "creepy" thing is another whole mess of shit. It's insanely mis and overused just like "literally" and "technically". "Dude. I just, like, literally did a thing you just watched me do." Yeah, numbnuts. You don't have to express the shear magnitude of the fact that you just did something I either saw you do or have no reason to think you didn't do it. "Well, technically, you have to do a thing that you actually have to do in order to make the entire process work out so it's not technical at all." But. I. Digress.
Now don't get me wrong. There are definitely some things you stop doing as you go along. Diapers? Yeah, stop doing that. At least until a while later. Leave dating school aged people at their respective stages. Leave middle school in middle school, leave high school in high school. Tantrums? You'd think, but apparently there are plenty of "grown-ups" that find this to be the behaviour du jour when things take a wrong turn at Albequerque when it comes to getting something they want. Weird. Right? I feel like if you aren't affecting or hurting anyone, do what you do. I am the age I am. I enjoy Anime, paintball, comics, going to cons, toy collecting, and other stuff. Aren't I a little too old? Such is the way of strokes and folks. I think I'm a little to young to pretend to be a pompous, emotionally stunted invalid. I like fun. And until someone else pays my bills and taxes, I really can't give a shit, fuck, or damn, flying or otherwise about what some people deem the acceptable way to act at an age.
My parents acted a certain way. Like a lot of things didn't really matter. When I was younger, I didn't get it. I thought it quite uncouth, they're manner of behavior. I think I get it now. I wish I got it sooner. Some things matter. Making sure you have means to suppor yourself. That matters. Taking care of those that depend on you. That matters. That someone who you don't know or has zero influence in your life thinks you are being childish because you think the sight of dogs shitting is classically hilarious? Doesn't matter a bit. You get to a stage in life where things that really mattered don't anymore.
LOLz! I had this bold speech in the chamber if anyone were to ever question my activities. About how I pay bills, taxes, etc. Been bankrupt, divorced, in jail, hired, fired, have nearly held a full career, blah, blah. Then to say that I'm old enought to do what I want. It's been a while, actually, since anyone has come at me that way (that I've heard, anyway). Perhaps this is a sign that a new age of tolerance and acceptance is at hand. But that is another chip for another shoulder.
I guess an addendum to my previous disclaimer: This is a much more convoluted topic than what I have lain here. I know. Maybe I'll revisit later.
Comfort and happiness are not the default settings for humans. That is why we seek them.