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Relationships are Fucking Weird


A friend told me about a picture he saw of a man who was sitting on a toilet. But wait! That's not all! On this man's lap was a woman. Yes. A tandem dump. He was sending the logs down and she... she was watering the chute. This got me thinking. Not about the picture (yes, about the picture. I'll try to find it for you. wink), but about relationships. Is that a weird place to go? Not really. I mean, think about it. Think about relationships that you've had in the past. I'm sure that there are things that you did with or for that special someone that you would never, EVER consider doing for someone you just met. I mean, would you ask a cashier to scratch your back with a credit card? Help get that thing on the back of your knee? Trim your toe nails? See? It doesn't even have to be sexual. When you're in a relationship, you ask a shit ton of each other.

And here's another thing. Most people think love and adoration is what holds a relationship together. It isn't. It's tolerability and indifference. Oooh, wuuut? You don't buy it? Alright, here goes nuthin'. You have two people. Both wildly infatuated with each other. To one the other is the the sun and vise versa the moon. Absolutely smitten. Neither of them can do wrong in the the other's eyes. They start building a life based solely on that. What happens next? Time. Time wears on, the shininess of each of their relative awesomeness begins to tarnish and gain a bit of a patina. They no longer see each other the exact same way because the newness and mystery of one another has worn off. And then they begin to resent each other for failing prior expectations because all the veils have been pulled away.

Buuut... if you have two people that like to be around each other, have a pretty reasonable understanding of who the other is, and are both kind to one another... well, that shit could last forever. Maybe more people should quit shooting for the moon as far as how someone should make them feel. That goes away. Usually. Not always, sure. I know, I know. My view comes off as a bit cynical, but why is that bad? It's just another way of looking at things. I mean, sure, a couple may have their love-fest and never have it end, and that's great. But, I guess what I'm saying is that if that doesn't happen for you that way, then maybe you need to look at things a different way. There's nothing wrong with just being content.

I enjoy being around my wife. I totally have what I need to make a man cave and spend my "boy time" by myself, but I don't. When we have to be away from each other for an extended period of time, I'm not, like all, "Hoo boy! Am I glad to be away from her!" or "Oh, my dearest. Me heart sheds a tear every second you are away." It's like... life. Keep it moving. I kinda miss her then I'm kinda happy when we're back together. I enjoy being around her. Which I feel is more important to say than I love you. You can "love" anything. You can love a sandwich. But if you had to have that sandwich everyday... Everyday when you wake up... Everyday when you go to bed... You'd get pretty damn sick of it in pretty short order I'd imagine. But take something like breathing. You never get tired of that. You'd wish it were around if it were gone. So look for someone that you can't live without, that they become second nature and a background function to your life. I wouldn't put that in a Valentine's card. In fact, if you find yourself in a relationship like this, you may not wanna mention that you feel this way. It's incredibly well meaning, but I can see where it would earn you an open handed smack in the puss.

Bad news, fans... I could not find that image my friend told me about. But not to worry, I am still on the case. I'll post it here when I do find it. And I wiiiiiillllllllll...............................................

Image credit: https://www.parksmania.it/en/parchi/magic-world/

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