You know I was thinking to myself the other day after talking to a friend who was not at the greatest point in her relationship. Like any concerned friend I asked, “What is the matter?” and in not so many words she began to tell me the story of her relationship troubles. After several minutes of sharing we eventually drew the conclusion that she was not happy in her relationship and had not been for a while… So naturally I asked, “Why not leave him and try something else?” She sat quietly for a while, spinning her straw in her drink attempting to make a tornado. Then finally she answered with the ever familiar “I don’t know…” Her gaze never leaving the swirling vortex in her glass which I am sure mirrored what was going on in her mind.
So I began to ask her what about her boyfriend did she actually liked, which was probably a harder question then she was ready to answer. She thought to herself for a moment then answered with a “Well… he never cheated on me…” Not to knock the guy, I commended him on such a admirable trait. However, my response to that response was responsively, “Mmm-hmm.” After more talking and storytelling to change the topic I found myself stuck in the mindset of “How the hell can someone who looks so unhappy continue to function in a relationship?” Lucky for me the topic once more came around with her telling me about the things her boyfriend does that makes her mad? The list included but was not limited too, doesn’t clean after himself, doesn’t work, disinterested in her, did not hold good conversation. The list continued but for the sake of my fingers I am going to leave it there. She finally concluded with the answer that resonated with me the most.
“I guess I just don’t want to be alone..” She answered, avoiding eye contact by checking her phone as if she could sense my disappointment in her answer. Here is where I will leave this story and begin my thought on this subject.
Do not settle… I cannot stress this point enough… If you have no kids and no real reason as to why you want to stay together then don’t. Male or female it makes no difference, the only dumb person is the one who suffers willingly with no real gain in sight. I know what you are thinking. “Well Pumpkin seeds and Peanuts, if you just leave every time there is a rough spot no one will stay together, you thoughtless ass!”
This point is very true but what I am trying to stress is that there is no point to stay stranded on an island after you have explored everything and see that it is not for you. The hardest part for most people I think is just setting sail and seeing what lies over the horizon, who knows maybe it is a island with a lot of money and cooks like Jesus. I mean who knows!